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T h e A d v e n t u r e s o f C h i c a g o J o |
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On Mr. Right and Trying to be Fair |
2005-06-20� �� 10:43 a.m. |
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When Benito and I initially broke up, one friend commented on me being in Stage One: Shock. I�ve never visited someone therapist-like, so I googled and found out about the seven stages of grief.
It was indeed initially in Step One: Shock, but I quickly moved into Step Two: Denial. I was pretty good at that one. He�ll call. He�ll be back. Three weeks later, the phone�s still not ringing. With that, I�ve skipped Step Three: Bargaining and Step Four: Fear. I really don�t have time for that. I don�t need someone who isn�t all about me. I�m not looking for someone to spend time with, companionship, or some smooching. I�m in this for love, and I�m not fooling around with anyone who isn�t willing, ready, or able. Either you�re in, or you�re out. The end. Well, I�m officially in Step Five: Anger. How dare he not be insanely in love with me?! I can�t walk down the street without stepping over someone offering me dick, and he just walks away the minute that it isn�t all hunky-dory, happy-happy! Who the fuck does he think he is? And you know what makes me even angrier? That I�ve got a blue-eyed guy with a megawatt smile who drives me home so I don�t have to ride the el or in a taxi alone while buzzed, talks sweetly, doesn�t try anything fishy or frisky, finds reasons to call, asks me out within two days of meeting me, and insists on also having lunch earlier in the week because Thursday -- my only available night of the week -- is a long way away. No, it�s not having this total Mr. Right around that makes me angry. It�s that Benito�s lackings have made me even more guarded than I already am. That I�m going to wonder if there would have been a difference had Benito said �break� instead of �break up�. That I�m going to one day run into him with Mr. Right, happily moving on with my life, and I�ll stop and wonder. It�s not fair to Mr. Right. It�s not fair at all. But is it also fair to not give him a shot because someone I thought I�d spend the rest of my days with is confused? Absolutely not. Mr. Right booked a lunch date on Tuesday and will run with me on Thursday evening before we go to happy hour. �
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Moving Day - 2008-02-15
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